How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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women's lacrosse.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Women's Basketball.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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