why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Penis jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

where do the women go? the womanarium

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Poopsack Jones

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops