Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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