what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

9:11 make a wish

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +14

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops