What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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What should I name my dog?

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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Adam Sandler.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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