Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

ur mother

Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

What should I name my dog?

i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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