what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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stuff and dogs {()}

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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A man. That is all.

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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