If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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25

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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Whats the best thing that happened to the jews The Holocaust

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Jake Bowar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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