What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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Women's rights.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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An asian walks out of math class

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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balls in ya mouf

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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96

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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obama is a good president

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Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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