What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Jewish People

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how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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stuff and dogs {()}

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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A man. That is all.

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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