How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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World Of Warcraft

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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What's your name? You tell me.

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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