1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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memes

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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