What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Which one is hardest?

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's your name? You tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops