Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

Penis

Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

a black father

Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

what do you call a retarded child with a doll in his hand while crying and running up a hill in bell bottom jeans in august at night a block of ice

Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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