An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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look left now look right. washing machine

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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