Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Women rights..

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

KEVIN HART

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

knock knock your gay

Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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