Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Sea World Japan.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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Women's Basketball.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops