One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

What does a tree do all day? Boredom

An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

Get in the van

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

World Of Warcraft

a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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MOAR??

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