A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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69

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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Obama.

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how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Womens Rights.

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Tacos

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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