What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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