Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Women Drivers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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