Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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The geese of Growmore

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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W.N.B.A.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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