Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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Obama.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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Don't rape me!

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops