Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops