Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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Black people are clen.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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like my drawing of a white person?

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Sea World Japan.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops