why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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http://www.fotokristall.narod.ru/mov0001.swf

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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