a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -28

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -42

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

thumb_up thumb_down +47

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops