What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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What should I name my dog?

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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69

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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