Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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25

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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i hate you.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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Women's rights

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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