Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

thumb_up thumb_down -86

friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

thumb_up thumb_down +115

what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Haiku's can be fun But they don't always make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +151

What's black, white and red all over and can't turn around in a corridor? A nun with a spear through her

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -20

2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +180

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops