whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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I can't think of a joke!

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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Why couldn't the little girl walk? She was raped by a herd of black men, resulting in irreversible damage to her rectum and groin area.

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Haha

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Wy do boys like big butts ? Cause it goes in easy :.:

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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