Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops