Dear John,

Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

Bumsniffer

wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

"Hello." "Hi."

but there is a road to the super market

I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

I love Ciara!

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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