Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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Your life That's the joke

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Go away.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

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a banana

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Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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