a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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corey is a nipplepotomus

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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