9:11 make a wish

your mother is so lesbian

A baby seal walks into a club.

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

Oh. So his name's Brandon.

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

Jewish People

A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

Indeed.

Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

:-)book

Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

corey is a nipplepotomus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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