A seal walks into a club.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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austins gay lolololol

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why couldn't the little girl walk? She was raped by a herd of black men, resulting in irreversible damage to her rectum and groin area.

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A Nazi ran into a Bar.

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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Why didn't the black man have a job? He was only in first grade.

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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