What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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The WNBA

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Women Drivers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Womens rights

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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