How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

I scream. You scream. We all scream.

Whats the best thing that happened to the jews The Holocaust

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

Windows Vista

WNBA

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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