A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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a man walks into a bar.......ouch

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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Don't rape me!

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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God.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Brittney Spears

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Google Doodles

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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penis that is all

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shut up

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Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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