Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Tacos

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Can I touch it?

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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sweaty black guy

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Don't rape me!

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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