It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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