Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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Shit.

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"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Penis

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Women

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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A man. That is all.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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Tacos

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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