What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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Justin Bieber

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Where else? The junk yard

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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