Haha pizza

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops