What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's gay and gay? Joe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +8

yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops