What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is 69? A two digit number.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What lives underground? Grandpa

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Avery has crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops