What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +26

your life

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

thumb_up thumb_down +18

3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops