So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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My butt!!!!

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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knock knock come in

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whats young and never moved? still born baby

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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Communism ... ... ... ... ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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Justin Bieber

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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