What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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chuck norris

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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what do you call a retarded child with a doll in his hand while crying and running up a hill in bell bottom jeans in august at night a block of ice

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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A van drives into a car.

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

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a boy comes to a girl and ask : do you like vaginas ? and she says course not your dumb ass and he says then give her to me *troll face*

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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Women's rights.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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