Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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a little girl gets raped

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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Steering Wheel Face.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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