Hello I'm a fat kid

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops