What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Pickle!

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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