How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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