What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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A seal walks into a club.

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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SNICHOLS AND DOOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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A man walks into a bar.

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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